Bye bye holiday..

Holiday for this semester is ending in 5 mins. This holiday just like a blink of eyes, passed without noticed. Throughout the 8 days of holiday, 7 days were rainy day. Forget about enjoying the sunset and beach at Batu Ferringhi, no outdoor football with friends. I hardly see any shinny day in Penang. However, it is always nice to rain during nightime, especially before you sleep. The sound of rain droplets hitting the roof, it just makes you feel more comfortable at home, from the cold rainny day outside, with a cup of Starbuck Black coffee and a story book really makes it a perfect night :) with the blanket covering most of your body, trying to figure out who is the murderer from the story......in a raining night....fantastic man.

Still reading.

I still managed to jog for 3 times and gets to play futsal with my teammates in Penang. Glad that some of them came back for Merdeka holiday. I watched a couple of DVD bought from 1-stop and BJ complex. Watching Astro channel such as AXN (CSI and House), Asean food channel, Travel and Living, Hallmark, Animal Planet and Discovery channel were also my fav during holiday.

The most important thing during the holiday was spending time with my family. I finally met my second niece, Deslyn, she has a pair of big eyes and fair skin. I think she is prettier than her sister, Desiree. She looks just like her mother. She likes to make bubbles with saliva, which i think is cute for a few months old baby, and she will starts saying" Auu gu..Auu gu...." when you are playing with her, very adorable. She is gonna be very cute and pretty next time. I hope I can spend more time with her.

Well, tommorow is a brand new semester, a new begining. 1 week enough or not? definetely not enough, but I think most of us are getting used to it. Medical student usually has lesser holiday. Or I shall say IMU student usually has lesser holiday, usually 1 or 2 weeks of break in between semester. Well, I think is time to move on and start learning new things, gaining new knowledge.

Honestly, even thought I miss my holiday, I miss the hospital as well. I miss being in the ward, spending time with patients. Looking forward to Emergency Medicine, my fav posting.

Subway's Turkey Breast Sandwish

Push-Pocket.

Dear friends, I not sure how true is this, but is always good to know so that we all are aware of this.

A genuine message posted by a law firm in Malaysia.If you're going to KL, take note…

PUSH-POCKET IN KUALA LUMPUR

I am sure you all have heard of 'pick pocket'.A new trend 'push pocket'.Read on... for your own good.

A few days ago a new type of crime has surfaced in town.It goes something like this:-Somebody slips a hand-phone into your pocket,sometimes it could be just a wallet withan identity card and a few ringgit.A few minutes later, the 'owner' comes upand confronts you, the 'thief '.He makes a big commotion that you stole his stuff.You, caught unaware, are then pulled aside by th e'owner' for a settlement. You are intimidated and threatenedthat if you do not pay up the police will be brought in.If you pay up, this 'owner' lets you go.If not, the police are brought in.Another strange thing is that there always seemsto be a 'witness' to your 'theft'.

I am told this often happens to foreigners atthe Kuala Lumpur International Airport (KLIA)or even at LRT trains. Given that you're 'guilty until proven innocent'as far as the Malaysian police are concerned,I understand some poor people are in jail forthese 'offences'.At the KLIA, the 'owner' throws his hand-phone andwallet with the few ringgit notes into the luggagetrolley of a just arrived passenger. The drama unfolds a few minutes later.The real culprit has easily convinced our Malaysian policeto arrest the real victim (if he has not paid up the 'settlement' demand).

This is a very serious matter.This is another form of extortionists operating in broad daylight.They are disgusting criminals who will do anythingto rob and steal. The sickening part of the whole scenario is that unless you pay the 'quoted settlement' money,they will put you in real trouble by calling the police..The real culprit gets back his hand-phoneand wallet but the real victim ( i.e. could be any one of us)is thrown into the police lock up and charged in court.So do be very careful,otherwise you may end up as a 'thief'as you have no way to prove your innocence..

Pass it on...

let more people be awareof such things around them.

Job list.

List of things I want to do during my "LONG" 1 week break.

1)Spending time with family.
2)Jogging every morning at 8am. At Botanical Garden.
3)DVD marathon. (Gonna buy lots of good movies, especially those I missed during study and exam)
4)Play strategy game until late at night with coke and sandwishes by my side.
5) Coffee beans (surf net there because my house still using jaring. Read my fav medical thriller books that my gf just bought for me :) )
6) Going to eat like those war prisoners just recently being released.
7) Rasa Sayang buffet with my family.
8) Enjoy sunset at Batu Ferringhi beach.
9) Lying on sofa, watching Asean food channel, Travel and Living,Discovery channel and AXN.
10) Take an evening nap everyday.
11) And sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.......yes yes...lots of sleeeeeep~!
12) Visit my college lecturer. :)

Journey to the North

Finally, Kean Seng is coming home.


Is always feel good when coming back home after staying far away. The feeling I am having now is just like returning back from World War II. Finally the "war" is over. Is time to come back to relax and refresh.


What a good Sunday morning, I started my journey at 7:30am. The highway is still empty, only 1 or 2 cars on the road, maybe most of the people sleeping late on Saturday night, now still sleeping at home. I expect more cars because school holiday has started. It is a cloudy Sundy, I can see heavy and dark clouds all over the sky, some only reach the middle of the hill. Where is the sun? Cloudy Sunday.

The highway - empty


The journey will be perfect if my car radio is working. Damn, I can't listen to any song or radio...~ Can imagine how quiet is that?! Lucikly I recharge my MP3 the night before that. I nicely put on the ear plug and pressed the "ON" button, at first I can see the light is on and there are words coming out from the screen, then when I press "PLAY"...........Nothing changed, when I press " NEXT or "PREVIOUS"...Nothing changed....I adjust the volume..NOTHING CHANGED AS WELL~!!! SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT!!!! Damn man, how am I suppose to drive back without any song?? The lesson is............Never never never buy anything from China anymore. If you bought it, dont expect it to lasts longer than 2 years. I asked my sister to buy this when she went to China for work. It costs me RM210.00, and I dint even use it more than 30 times.

In the end...................



Yup.....My laptop.

But the battery also only lasted for 35 mins. Sigh....

So what to do.....No music...while driving, dreaming looor. I recall all the things that happened during semester 6 and semester 7. From moving into our first house in Aukland, cleaning house together with my housemate. Later was forced to move house again to Bukit Kepayang. Trying hard to adapt to clinical school life. Until semester 7, my most difficult time ever. With the average sleep of 4 hours per day during Obstetric posting and the difficult period during Study break and End of semester exam. Everything seems like a dream to me.

Its finally rain when I reached Tapah, initially not a very heavy one, but the rain gets heavier when I reaches Ipoh. Is okay, no rush..........I take my time to drive, since exam is over, be a good boy, driving at only 90 km/hour. Think of your love one.

I only stop twice in between the highway. First one at Simpang Pulai, where I stop at the Petronas to buy my breakfast. Never had my breakfast yet. Another stop at Alor Pongsu for toilet.

When I almost reached Penang, the rain gets heavy....I can barely see anything 10m from me. My car's wiper was on highest speed. When I was on Penang bridge, I can see the island at all~~ What happened to Penang?!! is it normal to rain so heavily in Penang ?? Suddenly 1 movie flash through my mind, <2012>.....



Heavy rain - Dangerous Driving



















Heavy rain -Dangerous Driving (using handphone)







I miss my bed..~!!!!!!!!

MRIPHOBIA

Dear friends,

Check out this link ,


If I happened to be one of them, I wont wanna go for MRI scan anymore in my life.


Have a nice day. :)

Finally I passed.

In the end, I passed my Semester 7 exam.

I've been through the longest 4 hours in my life while waiting for the results, but i feels glad that finally I passed the exam and never dissapoint anyone.

The first person I wanted to thank is my girlfriend, Ying Hooi. She has been very supportive since the begining. During my most difficult time in Semester 7, she stays close with me. She always text me message to remind me to take lunch and dinner when I was busy. Every morning before exam, she will send me a good luck message to cheer me up.

The second people I wanted to thank is my parents and my sister. Thanks to my parents for giving me this opportunity to fulfill my dream, and thank you for all the encouragement before exam. Thank you sister for sms with me until late at night, and thank you for all the words of wisdom and encouragement that keeps me going, and thank you for giving me a good example how to be a good son and good student.

Then, I also wanted to thank to all my friends, thank to my IMU friends, you guys let me realised that I am not alone, thanks. Thanks for chatting with me in msn at early morning 3-4am to keep me awake, thanks for chatting with me during a short break after long hours of studying. Thank you for those who call me and wake me up to study at early morning. Thank you to my housemate for staying up together late at night to study. Thank you for practicing clinical skills together. Thank you for all the encouragement from you guys.

Even thought I passed, I still dont feel as happy as I expected to be. Because some people from our batch who dint make it thru. :( sigh..... Somemore they are my friends who I used to play together. That must be like a disaster for them, because I cant imagine if I happened to be one of them, but I will pray for them, hope they can recover as soon as possible and be strong and continue fighting. In the end, all M106 from IMU Bukit Jalil will become doctor in one day. No one left behind.

NB: Yesterday while waiting for results I saw Nikram, guess what he told me yesterday?

Nikram: I saw Dr Shane that day.

Me : so...............?

Nikram: He said we need to continue on our research during Semester 8 to make it better, because he is going to make it publish in journal.

Me : Okie.............................. ( I KNEW IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Tmr is the day.

Is 1:19 AM now, so happened that my birthday falls on January 19..LoL. Random....

I'm suppose to drive back Serembam from KL few hours later, to get my End of Semester 7 results, but I dont feel tired and sleepy yet. I dont feel like sleeping. Perhaps I I hope I can enjoy the remaining period of my time before tmr. After tmr maybe my life will undergoes a drastic change. I'm not sure, so I hope tonight will be longer. I hope tmr will never come, because I dont want it to come.

Surfing facebook, a lots of people posted on their wall about tmr. Tmr is a very important day for all of us, the whole batch. Because tmr might be the last day we are in the same batch. :(

Whatever it is, Kean Seng is still the same. Nothing has changed.

Thank you F.R.I.E.N.D

I received a few calls from my friends yesterday night, probably because of my "emo" post yesterday. Well, thank you very much guys, yes, I think I am now in depressed mood but is not clinically depressed. I dint fulfill the DSM-IV criteria. I have anhedonia and hypersomnia instead of insomnia only. The rest are all negative still...LoL. I just feel tired and burn out about everything in clinical school. Perhaps now is a good time for me to rest. Who knows what is going to happen on Friday. Whatever it is....I am ready for the worst case.

The King of PoP, Michael Jackson used to said "If you enter this world knowing you are loved and you leave this world knowing the same, then everything that happens in between can be dealt with".

Which I think is true, so thank you guys for calling, and thank you "anonymous". The best thing in life is not about doing something great to change the world, but knowing that you have a supportive family. A group of supportive friends who can go thru sweet and sour moment with you in life. Your friend is the one that will go thru life with you. I think is something unique that God has created. We come to this world alone and we dont know actually where are we "from", and friend is the person you are close with besides your family, who can go thru life with you. We may not know each other initially, but at some part of life we get the chance to know each other and started to know each other. I was glad that my primary school friends went thru life as a kid with me. I appreciated that my high school friends went thru life as a teenager with me and I was glad that all my friends now go thru life as an adult with me. Different friend steps in at different stages of our life. But it doesnt matter, because we are still friends.

So............Thank you my friends. Difficult moment will surely end some days.

Random pic

Taken this photo during the last day of End of semester 5 Exam.

I am gonna miss this.

My heart finally speaks

The long battle has finally finished. While waiting for the last few seconds of my End of Semester 7 to be over. I dont feel happy, I dont feel relief, I dont feel anything.......I dont feel anything....I feel so tired, I feel that my body are going to break into pieces. My hands and feets were cold and sweaty, cold sweat all over my face, I know I dint do so well in the exam....

Is not that I dont know how to answer the questions, sometimes i dont understand what the questions want....sometimes i knew that i have missed something during the exam and I plan to go back and answer it later, in the end...I dont have enough time to go back to that questions. Overall, I know I dint do well in exam. I can do better..

Yet, everything's over. Either i can make it or not. Friday is the day for borderline viva...I dont know whether should I feel happy or nervous or sad if i fall in the viva list. I should feel happy because exam is over, but i dont feel anything......I dont enjoy staying at home or going anywhere. I just want this to be over....so that I can go home, go back to my family. Everyone is waiting me to come home. They have faith in me, my mother has faith in me, my sister has faith in me, my friends have faith in me....but I dont have faith in myself.

From time to time, when I feel tired and exhausted, this questions will "pop out" in my mind. "Am I good enough to become a doctor?". I now realized that studying medicine is not just hard work and talent. You neeed to have the correct attitude and thinking. Being a perfectionist since a small kid, entering medical school was tough for me initially. I wants everything to be perfect, I expect myself to be able to asnwer 99% of the questions to consider myself pass the exam, I expect myself to know everything in and out in medicine. I will blame myself if I dint do so well in exam, because I forgot one of the most important lesson in life " No one is perfect."

Therefore, during phase 1 in Bukit Jalil...I studied hard and expected alot from myself....yes i think the process is hard and tough, but in the end I got the results I want. I "passed" myself. Maybe because i succeded in everything since small. My mum sent me for art class since standard 1 and I ended up winning in all the drawing competitions. My room is full of trophies just because of this. My mum sent me for quior class since standard 2, I was part of the school quior team and we ended up in 2 runner up and champion 3 years consecutively. We even represented to participate in quior competion in KL and we won top 4 in Malaysia. I started to play football since standard 5 and I told myself that I must represent my school or my state in football. In the end, I ended up represent my school under-14 until under-17. I was one of the 3 youngest players in the under-21 football tournament when I was only 16 years old.

I started playing handball during form 2, when I dont even know what is handball. Later on i got interested in this sport and I represented my school since form 3 until form 5. We got first runner up for 3 consecutive years, we loss to SM Simpang Empat in all 3 finals. 3 of my teammates including me, 4 of us from chung ling high school and the rest from SM Simpang Empat, together we make into Penang Handball Team to represent Penang in MSSM, Perlis. That is the best achivement I have in handball.

I feel proud in all the achievement i've made, because I keep telling myself that hardwork will brings me success. This includes studying medicine. I always wanted to help people when I was small, if I not mistaken since primary 6. I remembered my mum told me this few years back. She said when I was a small kid, everytime I saw poor old aunty and uncle walked across the street, I always request my parents to bring them home and take care of them, and I always scolded them because they dint listen to me. LoL.....yes, i like to help people, especially old people, but I dont know why......I wanted to spend time talking to them, makes them happy and take care of them. Of course I like to help anyone who needs help. That's why I studied medicine. My mum used to advise me to study other course instead of medicine because she said helping people can be in many diff ways. Yes, i do realised that...we can always donate money to old folk home or charity or special school to help those people. I wished to help people not using my money, but by using my knowledge, my time, my sleep, my energy and my heart. I wanted to sacrify my time and sleep for them. Therefore here I am, studying medicine and on the way to become a doctor.

Things changed when I come to clinical school. Hardwork dont give me success, instead it makes me feel more dissapointed. I sleep lesser and lesser...I spent most of my time doing presentation, doing report, clerking patient and learn in the ward. But in the end, I still dint do well in my exam. After the first dissapointment, I haven;t give up..I keeps trying.......then i get dissapointed again.....I keeps trying.......then disapointed, disapointed.....disapointed.....That's the time i started to doubt my own ability to study medicine. My research project keeps bothering me throughout semester 7, stress, frustration, dissapointment, anger....I suppressed it whenever it appears in my mind.....I believe that I am doing the right thing.

Maybe i dint dissapoint myself, is all the events that happened in me dissapointed me. I started to feel sick about exam..pass...fail..whatever...I feel tired...my life is no longer perfect.........I no longer have confident in myself and I no longer believe in hardwork anymore. Only all my luck has gone.....no longer there........I dont know what am I gonna react if i got into borderline viva or i failed the exam on friday. Whatever it is.....I just want to go home, Seremban is not a place for me.....I just want to go home....If i was given another choice, maybe i wont choose studying medicine anymore....maybe i should forget about helping other people...because I cant even help myself.....I dont want to go thru semester 7 again...I think I am depressed...

DAMN

I think I cant pass my exam.. sigh :(