Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Good Bye 2008!!!

5:06pm 31/12/08 is kind of weird that I still have to go work during new year eve. Because throughout my life i have never worked during the new year eve, but this year, i still have to go hospital and attend classes.

Year 2008 - This year is a special year for me. First start from the begining of the year, where I was busy thinking ways to take care of my uncle who has been admitted to the hospital. I visited him whenever I free. Bringing along my books, so that I can accompany him and study at the same time. My uncle aged 90 years old at that time, so I dont know how often I can accompany him so I decided to make good used of my time since I was having semester break at that time. I had several discussion with my cousins on how to rearrange his bed room and what medical equipment we can buy in order to make him feels comfortable when going home. We ended up buying a wheel chair, a hospital bed and rented a oxygen tanks for him and busy searching for home nurses. I considered myself very lucky because I have 2 weeks Semester Break after chinese new year before my new semester start. I tried to do revision as much as I can because the coming semester will be the final semester for Phase 1 where I will be sitting for End of Semester Exam. However, at the same time, I still able to enjoy my free time by jogging and went to eat something nice with my family. Taking care and talk with my uncle whenever I free.

New semester started, I went back KL for my final semester in Bukit Jalil. I never go back throughout the whole semester because the exam is getting nearer. I keep on telling myself that I must stay back at KL and study even though sometimes there was 1-2 days public holiday. However, I enjoyed most of my time in KL thanks to my cousin for allowing me to stay at her comfortable house and thanks to my friends who used to study with me in the library. We study together, stress together, joke together and most of the time lazy together.

Finally come to End of Semester at July. I still remember how stress I felt few weeks before the exam. Sometimes I was so tired until I feel like giving up, because the stress before exam was so intense for me that I cant study nicely. Luckily my mum and my sister always be my side to give me moral support.

During the night of exam, I still remembered Justin stayed over my house for 3 days and we studied together, because our time is at 8am the next day. Justin is the one that keep on sleeping on my bed while I tried to revise as much as possible before exam. I remembered I only sleep for 2 hours for the last 2 days of exam. I still remember my feeling during that night, which is stress + excitement, because I know that my exam is finishing soon.

Finally !!! I passed my EOS 5!!! Seremban here I come.!!!!!After almost 7 months of hard work I can finally go home happily and with pride. My uncle was very happy that I finally came back and visit him. I think no one can be more happier than me, because finally I did it!! I never dissapoint anyone.

Sadly, during the first day of my semester 6 in Seremban, my uncle passed away, due to aging. He is the only one besides my parents treat me like his own son. He looked after me since I was borned, and really take a very good care of me, bought me toys when I was small, bought me shoes when I entered university. Even until now, sometimes is hard to remind myself that he is no longer in this world, because he is always in my heart even until now. I know from that time onwards, there will be one person less in this world that will treat me so good. Thank you for treating me so well and teach me the correct way of life. I feel so sad that I dont have the chance to take photo with you during my graduation day in the future, but I promise that I will become a good doctor next time to treat the others. I will remember your teaching forever.

Currently, I have been studying in Seremban for 3 months. I am currently very happy with my life, learning new things in hospital everyday. Thank god that I am able to adapt myself so quickly in this new environment and new way of teaching. Studying in clinical school is much more fun compared to KL because i get the opportunity to talk to patients and learn from the doctors in the hospital. Basically, I prefer to learn in hospital compared to classroom.

Year 2009 - My new year resolution:

1) I hope I can be a better medical student in year 2009, to become a more competent than ever.

2) I hope I can pass my Semester 7 exam smoothly, and I promise I will be more hardworking in the year 2009.

3) I wish that my parents, my sister, brother in law, desiree and my all other relatives are well and healthy, free from suffering, happy always~!

4) I wish that I can adapt a more healthy lifestyle compared to year 2008.

5) Hope that my year 2009 will be happy all the time and everything will go smoothly.

Bye bye year 2008, you are my most memorable year throughout my life. Regardless of happy or sad moments.

Photo taken during year 2008.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

What a weekend!!

HoHoHo...!!! Finally Xmas is around the corner....I went to my friend's house in Klang to stay overnight for 1 day, and on Saturday I went down KL to do the stuff i used to do when i was in KL. First, i stayed overnight at my friend's house - THE PURPLE HOUSE...BECAUSE his house is purple in colour, but i quite like the friend's mother prepared dinner for us. The first step i stepped into the house, I felt that I already know them for quite some time, because the family are so friendly and gave me a warmth welcome at home, I thought of sleeping in my friend's room, but his mother prepared another room for me...A room for my own, Oh my god~~i dont know what to say, because I dont expect this...~ after i took a shower, is time for dinner, and the food was really good....Finally i have the chance to enjoy home-cooking. It has been a while where I never taste any home-cooking meal outside Penang, what a nice feeling at home...although is not my house..but i felt i already stayed there for quite some time. Basically all the family members are very friendly.

The second day i went to try something where everyone must try when come to Klang : THE BAK KUT TEH!!!! BAK KUT TEH is actually my fav....especially during rainny day...and hot concentrated herba sup with meat...with a pot of hot chinese tea.....HEAVEN man...oh my god..~~~

The Klang Famous - BAK KUT TEH-

Only in Klang - Dry Version- ( Highly recommended)

The bak kut teh in Klang is slightly different from Penang's bak kut teh:

1) The Klang bak kut teh do not have MEAT BALL.

2) The Klang bak kut teh have dry version.

3) The Klang bak kut teh soup is more concentrated, fulled of herba taste.

(Our Breakfast + Dinner)

On saturday, I went back to KL using KTM. The only place i visit was Suria KLCC. The place i used to hang out whenever free because of 2 places : San Francisco Coffee & KINOKUNIYA Book Store. I spent almost 2 hours sitting in San Francisco Coffee reading newspaper with my fav Mo' Mocha. Wow..~ is nice to come back here...i miss this place!!!! This is the place i used study when i was staying in KL because they make nice coffee and newspaper and comfortable seat. Of cause, when I am not studying I will also visit this place to read my fav story book or newspaper. I also went to the book store, is my habit to visit the bookstore everytime after the exam, and most of the time, my habit to buy a new book after exam. Dont get be afraid, I am not a nerb, I used to visit bookstore to read my fav book, NOT TEXTBOOK!!! I bought a book called "Comfortable with Uncertainty". Is a book teaches you how to face uncertainty in our life, how to face the reality. I think is good if I read the book because during my daily life, I tend to worry of something which will happen in my life - UNCERTAINTY. Although i prefer thriller books,autobiography,friction, but I dont think I will have time to read it because my surgery posting starting on Monday, so I choose something light, relaxing instead of something exciting. I also went for movie alone, a movie called "IP MAN". A story about the Chinese Grandmaster who created a martial art called " Wing Chun." Starring Donnie Yan. Is a nice movie. A movie that contains laugh,emotion,sadness and excitement.

On Sunday, I went to visit my FAV SUSHI KING!!! I have been eating good food these 2 days. After eating sushi king I just hang around MPH to look for any good book for me to read. So that I can include it in a list of my wanted book. At 3pm, I finally return to Bukit Jalil where my friend fetch me before we come back to Seremban.

It has been a happening and nice weekend for me. Honestly, I cant remember how long I never enjoy in such a way in my life. Well, although I dont think I did well for exam, but finally I feel glad that it's over, I think is good for me to relax and enjoy my weekend before the next posting start - SURGERY

Saturday, November 22, 2008

A Way of Teaching Children

Today I went to TESCO with my friend to buy grocery....Well you know....End of Month, food storage in the house also getting lesser and lesser....Is time to restore my food..!!!! Well, buying food or TESCO is not something I want talk about this time. Is the incidence that I saw in TESCO that makes me discover something important in life.

I was standing at the bread section to buy bread..while at the same time, my friend went to get a trolley. I saw a family of 4, consists of father,mother,brother about 6 yr old and sister 4-5 yr old...they were just standing beside me.Well, at first I dint pay much attention on them. Suddenly, I heard somone screaming...!!!! I turned towards the direction where the sound came from, I only realised that is the mother that screaming at the daughter...the second word that I heard came out from her mouth was.. :" SIAO AR YOU !!!!!!!" which means " CRAZY AR YOU!!!!" well....a bit shocked to hear something like that from a mother...I still focus my sight on that family.....i only know that actually is the daughter that squeezed the bread in the trolley. " WHY YOU WANNA DO THIS". -end of story-

Well....let me asked you 1 question..............what if..........few years later, the girl scold back the mother :" SIAO AR YOU!!!!!" ....what would you think? Well, maybe the mother will gives her daughter a good slap on the face....~ Correct? How could a girl scold a mother crazy.....but if they remember the incident the mother that scolded the daughter crazy in the public at first...well, why if a daughter scold her mother everyone would think is wrong....? Why no one will say the mother wrong if she scold her daughter crazy..that is not fair...~ I am not talking about fairness here, I just wanna say that , a lot of time..when we trying to say someone is wrong, try to ask yourself whether did you make the same mistake..

As a parent, it is not only important to give their children is not enough...The last and the most important is to show them the correct way of behaving, talking, dealing with other people..a proper manner. How a child learn by the way, actually they learn by observing what we adult do we turn on a TV, how we brush our teeth, how we wash our face, how we use fock and spoon....and HOW WE BEHAVE ~!!!! and from who usually they will learn with???? Parents......why??? because most of the child spend most of the time with their parents at home. It is quite naive but it is true that most of the child would think that what their parents did was always correct, so they have no doubt in questioning the way they behave or the way they talk. So in order to teach your child properly, it is not telling them that :" you shouldnt do this, you shouldnt do that." it is by showing them the correct way of behaving and must set a good role for them. Because they will follow you when they grow up. Just like a kid who smokes...I wont be surprised to find out that actually one of their parents also smoking at home. Because they set a bad example for their child. Just imagine a doctor trying to convince a patient to stop smoking......if the doctor himself also smoking, do you think his advise will be convinsing?

Well, how to teach a proper child. I generally do not agree that scolding a child is a good way of teaching them, in fact we need to let them know what mistake they have done. Back to the incident, why not the mother correct her mistake by telling her politely for example :" you shouldnt do this." instead of asking :" why you wanna do this" . Instead of scolding her crazy.......why not the mother explain to her daughter that squeezing a bread is wrong because other people would like to eat a proper bread, not a bread that already being squeezed. By scolding her daughter crazy, the daughter will remember in her mind that ( crazy is actually a word used to scold people who made a mistake) so she indirectly learn form her mother and I wont be surprised if next time her daughter scold somone crazy.

I hope I can talk more on this topic.....sadly, i need more time to study..well, I think I will continue next time when I am free.~

Another good example: If you want your children respect you and treat you nicely, you must do the same thing to thier grandparents first.


Shit !!..!!..!!..!! Exam are getting nearer and nearer. Nowdays I feel tired extremely easy, basically i feel tired all the time. Until I have no mood to smile in university. Some of my friend thought that I was angry at them.....Ish..~~ How innocent..!! I am not!!!!Maybe I was too tired to laugh, I dont wanna pretend to be a very happy guy if I really feel exhausted.My eyes aching most of the time, I feel pain all over my body and I feel that my energy keeps draining away from my body...time passes very fast, until I cant imagine how much time i ve wasted everday......everyday when I reached home, for sure I will take a nap from 7-9pm, only start study from that time onwards, hopefully that I can stay up late until 2-3am...but sadly,i dint make it most of the time.......Tired..really tired....Tired until I dont have mood to talk to my housemate, tired until I dont feel like going out for dinner with friends, I have more nightmares than last time, sometimes, I was frightened until I woke up in the middle of the night. During the nightmares, I only remember I keep on arguing with poeple in my dreams, to show my frustration......maybe i never show it in the reality, it ends up coming out all from my dream. Every morning i wake up, I dont feel energetic...I feel lethargic...............dont feel like getting up from bed, body aching....eyes burning.....what's wrong with me......????? my appetite still very good,I am not depressed....I feel as I gonna get sick everyday..........................................damn..........maybe I need a break...........................I still remember it has been a long time i never have a good night sleep....~

Monday, November 17, 2008

War Zone

STRESSSS!!!! STRESSSSS!!!! STRESSSS!!! Nowadays I dont know what's is going on with me...Either the time really fly, or my time management skills deteriorated. Besides busy catching up the things that taught in the class, my CSCF (Community and Family Case Study), my TBL( Task Based Lerning) presentaion, my Research project. I basically dont have time to study my books. Last time, i used to read a lot when studying in KL. Where i can easily finish reading 5 diseases in one day. Now, i only manage to read average 1 disease every night. At most i can finish reading two disease. (If I manage to finish reading 2 diseases, I considered it as a productive day, If I manage to finish 3 diseases, I would go dance around Seremban!!!!) In addition, my group have been in big trouble recently, many professional issues and learning attitude issues being questioned by most of the lecturers. Sigh, I hope those people who made a mistake know it, so that they wont bring anymore trouble to our group, being scolded by lecturers and being hated. things are messing up in my life. Feel damn tired yet I am helpless, some of my friends dont take the assignment seriously, what can I do????? But i will be affected as well because we are in a same group. Sigh, suddenly I miss Penang, Seremban for me....................IS JUST A WAR ZONE.

CKS's view of Seremban *

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Life and Death -How you see it?

Today, during my lecture we are discussing about " Palliative Care", which means we provide a type of care for those patients who are terminally ill and have no chance of surviving. In order way, we care for those patient who are dying.

When talking about this type of care, or more specific is in order to carry out this kind of care, first we need to understand the meaning of the word "Life" and "Death" . Usually, most of the time, especially chinese, would prefer to avoid talking about this issues, maybe they will talk about Life, but hardly "Death". Some dont even think about how will it, how's the feeling will be when they are actually dying....not now, but in the future. Honestly, "Die" keeps on floating in my mind from time to time.

First, I would like to talk about "Life". From time to time, I always wonder, why am I in this world in the first place? Why am I having a life now? Why am I responsible to be someone called Kean Seng in this world? Just like an ordinary people, born as a baby, going through childhood, learn how to talk, speak, crawl, walk,run....Going to school, learn how to read, gaining knowledge, having fun with friends,exam, holiday, entering university, choosing a course you have interest in,finally graduate...entering the rat race in the society, earn money, start building own family, married, have kids, working harder for another 30-40 years and retired finally...become elderly, waiting for their children to take care of them....and finally....waiting to die. Basically, this is basically the stages of life where everyone will go through, you define "LIFE" is definetely different from one to another.

Every morning, when I accidentally look at the mirror, I will look at myself a little longer. I will stare at the mirror. Looking at my face...and talking to the mirror " WHY AM I LIVING IN THIS PERSON BODY", why must I breath,eat,sleep,walk,happy and cry with this body? Why am I in this world. I always ask the GOD "Why you wants me to come in to this world?" "Is there anything you want me to complete into this world?" Sometimes I keep on thinking and thinking, and i am tired of finding out the reason why am I here. Some of my friends said to me that, coming to this world is to enjoy yourlife, you done good in your past life so you can become human in this life. Some told me that because you have done something bad and you need to come into this world to do good, so that when you died, you can achieve nirvana where you no need to come back into this world again. Well, I dont know which 1 i think is more appropriate.Some people coming to this world not only never do something good, but end up hurting and doing bad things to other people. Some just come into this world, just become a normal human doing normal things everyday until the day they leave this world; Maybe this is the reason why I wanted to become a doctor since I was a small kid. Since small, I have been thinking about this problem many times, i keep on searching for the truth, why am I here? Not because I dont understand the meaning of life and I dont appreciate life. I understand what is life and i do aprreciate it alot so I need to find a reason why am I here, so I wont be wasting my time and do what I supposed to do, before I leave this world.

People may think that I am silly when I said this, but at least I think is normal for me to think so. Sometimes I think that maybe god wants me to come into this world to help the human beings. I admit that I am not someone who can influence the world and I also do not have supernatural power to help human beings. But at least I have a completely functioning 4 limbs with me, which I think I can use it to help people. I think that my purpose to come into this world with a completely healthy body and funtioning limbs is that I am here to help those who are handicapped, who are sick, who were borned less fortunate than I. I think that I am here to help them out. God gave me a healthy life when I came to this world, and now I am here to carry out my duty to help those who is sick and unfortunate. I dint mean that those who studying business or engineering or architect are not good and not helping people. I believe that, either directly or indirectly they have already helped many people in their life, from donating millions or thousands of money to a old folks home or charity, donating their clothers , or even helping an old man cross a road is considered as helping those who need. I prefer to take up medicine because I prefer to help people in a different way. I prefer to help people with my time, my energy and my knowledge rather than my money.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

My Internal Medicine Results!!

Finally today we got our End of Posting (EOP) result, I only managed to get "B" for my Internal Medicine. SOB SOB T.T , a bit dissapointed...because i have tried my best to do everything very well. All my presentation, my on call report, case summary, case report. I personally think that i did quite well during the exam, because I only unable to answer 1 question asked by the examiner. She is also quite happy and satisfied with my case report and case summary. She told me that I currently doing quite well and ask me to keep it up, so I sort of expecting my result to be slightly higher. But sad to say that, I only got "B". Some of my friend told me that because my examiner this time is one of the most strict examiner in IMU, but I think no matter how strict she can be, as long as i managed to answer the questions correctly, I should be given credit.
Though I am a bit dissapointed, but I dont think this will kill off my desire to learn in medicine. My primary objective is to become a good and caring doctor next time, not a doctor who can only passed all the exam with distiction. Although i must admit that getting distinction in exam is a good thing for everyone, but if I got just average, I dont think it will stop me from doing what I want. I want to be a good doctor in the future!! not only a good medical student.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

My Parents - PART I

Talking about the word "Parents" I really like to know we should define the word “Parents”. Parents meaning someone who we called them just father and mother? Parents meaning those who gave birth to us? Well, I really hope that I can find the correct answer.

When I was born, when I was totally incompatible with life if without my parents, when I still don’t know how to look for foods or even put the foods into the mouth myself, when I was sick, when I was sad, when I was hurt, I remember that my parents are the first one that come to me.

When I was a small baby, my parents woke up 3-4 times in one night to feed me milk, just to make sure that I am not hungry.

When I was sick, they are the one who suffer together with me. They will deprived themselves from sleep by waking up 3-4 times in one night, sometimes they dont even have a good night sleep, just to take care of me, stay awake all night and wake me up to give me medicine in the middle of the night. Drive me to clinic to see doctor in the middle of the night if I vomited. They will be very worried if I sick, and they will continue deprived themselves from sleep and worried until I was fully recovered.

When I was 3 years old, I accidentally stepped on a dead bee with the poisonous sting on it and hurts my leg, my mother is the first one who carried me up and took out the sting for me.

When I was 5 years old hits by a motorcycle on the street, both my parents quickly rush me to the Clinic because I was shocked after being hit by the motorcyclist.

I was very weak when I was a small kid and my guts can hardly tolerate after drinking milk, and I used to have diarrhea after drinking milk, my parents spent large amount of money to bring me to see many doctors to treat me. One of the doctors told my parents that I could hardly tolerate any milk so they may need to buy special milk, which is more expensive. My parents bought the milk for me even thought we were not very rich that moment, just to make sure that I could grow like a normal kids.

When I was 6-9 years old, my parents would bring me to go play around in the park, play badminton, play water, play tennis in the park, bring me eat Mcdonald’s, KFC, bring me go playground to play together. Whatever I wanted to buy, which most of the time influenced by my friends in school, if it is within their affordable range and if they think will not cause harm to me, they will try their best to buy it for me.

When I first entered primary school, my mother will prepare a lunch box for me to bring to school, to make sure that I have a healthy and delicious food to eat. She would make sure that I have enough food to eat everyday by preparing lunch for me before going to school and everytime I came back from school, the dinner was ready on the table.

I was being forced to go tuition during primary school. When I was in primary school, sometimes we do not have transport so my mother walked together with me to the tuition centre, underneath the hot sun, walk along the street, taking taxi, taking bus, in order to send me to the tuition centre, she will wait me outside the tuition centre for 2 hours before she walked me back home again.

Every year during Chinese New Year, my mum would make new clothes for me, sometimes both of my parents bring me to the shopping complex to buy new clothes, to make sure that I have nice clothes.

During secondary school, in order to make earn income for home, my mother helped the family babysitting children to gain more money for home. Sometimes, the baby woke up in the middle of the night crying non-stop and my mother was forced to wake up at night to take care of the baby. Sometimes, she hardly sleeps more than 4 hours in one night because taking care of the baby. I was awakened by the crying sound every time the baby cried but I pretend I was still sleeping, so I know how much time my mother sleep during that period.

When I was studying secondary school, I used to go out with friends until 4-5 am in the morning, maybe because during that time “peer pressure” within me, my mum would wait for me to come back by sleeping in the living room.

Even now, I am a university student, everytime I went back to Penang, my mother would surely asks what I want to eat, because she knows that I like her cooking. She will go to the market everyday I went back in my hometown, she will buy fishes, prawns and craps back home from the market, and cook for me. Just because she knows that, I love to eat those foods !!! She would spent whole day in the kitchen, cutting vegetables, frying chicken, cooking soup, cleaning the fish. Most of the most she will cook until sweat all over the body, everytime I told her told her that she no need to be so busy and we can easily go out and buy dinner back home, but she replied me that she enjoy cooking for her son ( L so touch!!).

When I coming back from hometown, she will surely buy a lot of dried food, like biscuits, cookies, fruits, BRAND’s, Vitamin, Milk, Milo, Oat and packed it nicely within a big bag for me to bring home. Just to make sure that I have something to eat back there.


Sunday, November 2, 2008

Our parents

如果有一天,你發現 母親煮的菜太鹹太難吃
千萬別誤以為他們感冒或著涼,( 那是吞嚥神經老化的現象)

如果有一天,你發覺他們不再愛出門 …

My reason to start blogging.

Well..well, here am I again!!!!! Since I stop blogging for 1 year, now I am here with a brand new blog. Everytime I look at my friend's blog, I really wonder, why some people so fond in spending 1-2 hours sitting in front of their PC and typing down what they've done today, where have they been today, what did they eat today.......Why dont just keep the feeling among ourselves?? Well, maybe their reason are same as mine. The reason for me to start this blog is I hope that I can write down everyhing I that I saw in the hospital, what I learned from my patients, what the patients taught me, my life as a medical student in Seremban, my desire to become a good doctor in the future. I would also like to write about my social life, life with my family member, my girlfriend, my friend, my lecturer, BASICALLY everyone that appears in my life. Each of us have our own life, I am sure you have yours too. Each of us will feel that our life is the most unique and most colourful for ourselves. Well, I hope I could write down all my feeling in the my daily activities, my experiences during the process of growing up to become a man. Because I know I will grow old 1 day and my memory will sure deteriorate, so I wish that I hace written something here so that next time when i'm old, when I maybe even cant recall where I stay and what is my name, I can remember the all the colourful events AND all the stepping stones in my life by reading this.