Saturday, July 4, 2009

Things not the same again

I remember I used to be a person who likes to be busy all the time. Since small, I keep myself busy from joining diffirent extracurricular activity in school, holding different position in high school.

Those day.....i really missed it.

I was Vice President for Handball Club, secretary in football club, executive committe in Traffic Warden. Besides this, I represent my school in Football for MSSPP (Masjlis Sukan Sekolah Pulau Pinang) for 4 years and Handball club. I present my school in Handball for 3 years.

Handball school team
Year 2001 : Reserve player, Second runner up
Year 2002 : First team, First runner up
Year 2003 : First team, First runner up

Football school team
Year 2000,01,02,03 : First team, group stage.

My biggest achievement in sport:
Represent Penang Handball Team Year 2002 in Sukan Sekolah Malaysia in Perlis.
( I was so proud playing alongside other best handball players in Penang and wearing Penang jersey, with Penang flag)

I also represent my school in Science competition in Penang at Pokok Sena. Our science project was Using Pandan leaves as repellent to insects. We got second runner up.

I successfully helping Football Club earn around RM600 by organizing 7 aside futsal competition in school.

I keep myself busy from day to day. Staying back at school meeting, organizing activity, attend handball or football training. Practising footdrill for up coming School Sport's Day, keep practising marching under the sun at 2:00am. Sometimes after practising, i will went shopping with friend.

Sadly those days were over for me. Nowadays, I feel so tense up until I feel like letting go everything in my hands. Tiredness kick in rapidly, every afternoon......The task in university keep on coming, new lecture, presentation, CSCF, TBL, IMS, Plenary...research, research, research and research again....never ending...Exam and exam and i dont know what is the true meaning of exam anymore, because exam is so frequent and common nowadays. While my research keep facing problems, keep correcting the mistakes...until now i am still doing it, everytime i tell myself: "This is it, i m gonna finish this and settle it off." but everytime i must bring it back and make correction. Preparing slides for TBL, IMS, Seminar......on call, case summary, case report.........Studying medicine itself is very difficult in the first place. Because i remember when i was semester 1, I have no confident in passing the exam. Now, besides need to study, they forced us to be in the ward, to attend IMS, to attend plenary, to do presentation for TBL and seminar or sometimes case presentation. Yeah....some of my friends asked me to simply do and pass up. But i cant be so selfish, I was given responsibility to present a new topic, I think I have the responsibility to come out with a good presentation so that all my fellow colleagues will get complete knowledge and make them understand as much as I can. Simply do...........can!!! why not?????? but..............woundn't this meaningless????

When you have so many tasks waiting for you to accomplish,sometimes you even feel that is impossible to finish it. You tend to avoid tend to put it aside. Everytime I saw people leaving personal message in their facebook :" Stress..........I need a break.........I want holiday." Something went through my mind, why i never tell myself that I need a break ? only motivation to keep me going......Exam...nearer day by day....yet i still so busy with research, case summary, dont really have time for revision. I think this is the first time where I really dont have enough time to revise for exam, not even 25% .

Well, step by step..that's the only thing i can do now.

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